i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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