Sry I called you an 8
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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