Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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