I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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