I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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