Cold hands, warm shart.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
