Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
