I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Damn victory sex feels great
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
