Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
