It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
