I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
