the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
