yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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