Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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