My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
