Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
