Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
