I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
