are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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