I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize