I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
