If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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