so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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