I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
