theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
