the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
