just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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