Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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