i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
