we have pet lesbian snakes
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You were trust falling into bushes
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
