So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
