when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize