please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
