Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
