Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
