I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
