I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
