It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
