And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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