She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
