he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
