I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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