JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
