You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
