I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
