I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
