when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Your cock deserves a montage
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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