i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
