I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't deserve a penis
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
