She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
