yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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