its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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