Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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