Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
