i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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