We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
