Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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