Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
What a dumb baby whore.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
