YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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